Before humanities students (like myself) read the title and run away, and before physicists start to take a deep interest (although I’m sure there are no physicists reading my blog) – a clarification. I’m not talking of time and space in the sense of physics, but in a more personal manner. What do you expect? I’m studying to become a shrink, after all!
So yes, I started studying for my masters at TISS, tadadada.. all that which I have been incessantly blabbering about in my previous posts. But, the fact of importance is, with time, I’ve eased into things. They’ve become more handleable. I think that the passage of time is a gift that gives you the opportunity to find yourself in whatever you decide to do.
I used to think that, if I’m in college or travelling from around 8 to 5, when do I be with myself? And with a jolt in the bus, I realized that, to be with myself, I do not have to be alone. Yes, alone with the self is the best me time. But still, I could be connected to myself even during college hours. There is no need to switch off the inner connection and just be ‘a student’.
As might be expected, the academics is so much, I do not get time for extracurrics. I regret that. Being at TISS and not participating. But I’ve made peace for myself – to keep that reserved for festival days. For others, academics and resposibilites towards my family are more important.
Talking of family, I do not think that they want hours from you. Somewhere, they realize you are busy. I used to sit with my mom for half an hour before too. But my tiredness showed on my face, and my face buried in my phone. Now, I sit with her for like 10 – 15 minutes, but I give her my total attention. Sometimes, her complains about the maids, relatives seem redundant. At that time, it is very easy and tempting to act all uninterested. But no. With just a little effort, I show genuine interest, and it makes her really happy. I think somewhere, I’ve practically started to apply the counselor qualities I’m learning.
College will become all the more busier when field work starts, which is almost at the same time that Ramzan starts. It’s a combo like mutton biryani and keema paratha. It’s bound to make you anxious. But belief motivates unlike anything else. You become used to it after the first few fasts. In fact, research indicates that formation of a new habit, for most people, requires that they consistently do it for 40 days. This is the maximum. You may form a habit in even lesser days.
And of course space. Not only is it important for others, in relation to them but with yourself. Give yourself space first. I’ve been stuck on the last 5 kgs for quite some time now, reagrding my weight loss regime, and the negativity had somehow creeped in. Although not so much overtly, but somewhere, I was getting very critical of myself. But it was important to stop that. Peoples’ weight loss plateaus have known to be on for years too, I’m just stuck for months. Besides, a positive outlook is the best atmosphere to trigger change. So now I’m focusing on just liking what I do and doing what I like. Being happy.
Space for others. Despite knowing how important it is, I still slip sometimes. I forget that space is letting the person be, and not hold some secret resentment towards them. Yes, its difficult to not talk sometimes. Especially when your friends are far away and you don’t know what’s happening to them or what they are going through. But that’s exactly when they need to sort things out in their head, and my experience has been that when they get back, they really appreciate being given the required space. Because giving space is showing trust. There’s nothing more loving than that. Let’s hope this holds true for further experiences.
As much as i have loved writing this post, it has become rather long. Although it has confirmed my beliefs which I was starting to doubt a bit. And then I’ve gone a bit overboard and signed on for two courses on coursera that begin in September, as that’s the last month of my 1st sem. So human of me.
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