It is twelve thirty in the afternoon, yet, the dense cloud make it appear like early morning. It’s pouring outside, with just the hint of breeze that I like. And there’s purring inside – two kittens we have recently adopted (Fem and Nur) are talking, in their sleep. My tortoise, Neo, is eating his lettuce and taking a walk in the rain. An unfinished painting is staring at me, competing for my attention. I will finish it and put it on my painting blog today. (http://20days20artworks.blogspot.in/)
A bookmark is poking out of the initial few pages on the book I’m currently reading, The Maytrees, by Annie Dillard, suggesting how far behind I am on my reading goal. But, i give my self the allowance for lag, because I’ve been busy – not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I have gone through a roller coaster ride of worry, sorrow and anger ever since February, and it took me this final exertion to realize a few things.
To realize, that we can’t control everything, and to try to do so would lead to frustration. What we could do instead, is want and wish for change so bad, that it has no choice but to happen. To realize that, if you want things and you wish for them in the right way, you get them. Maybe you do not get them in the exact way that you want, but the Universe/God works its mysterious ways, and gets you your wish, by an albeit unconventional route. To realize that, to be happy, you need nothing else, but the wish, desire to be happy. The desire moves you to do things that makes you happy. Happiness is that simple, and that profound.
A new phase of my life begins tomorrow – Masters. I am going to meet lots of interesting, hard working people, and its going to be a great two years, academically speaking. Many of my friends are interning, working, going out of town, coming into town, breaking up, getting into relationships, taking a break from their partners, taking up celibacy (!), marrying, engaging – it seems like movement of tectonic plates – so much change!
These 5 – 10 years will be full of change, and if I wish to be happy, I have to accept things as they come, and realize that troubles once over may surface again; That nothing ends once and for all – including joy, happiness.