Wrote this for a co-blog. Do check it out!
Author: whizwoman
Love from the road #2
It is the early hours of the morning. I am sitting by the side of a flowing stream. Apart from the birds, the rustling leaves, the sound of gently gurgling water and the scratching noise of my pen against paper, there is no other sound. With such silence, the voices inside me become a lot more clear and loud.
Maybe this is why city life is so full of noises? Because we cannot bear to listen what our inner voice is saying?
You know, I was weeping last night. No, don’t worry, I’m all right. It’s just that when I lost dad, being the elder son, I just pushed it all in and stored it away to deal with it later. As I saw the funeral pyre burn, I thought the rites would give me the outlet I require.
But yesterday, I saw a parent bird teach it’s offspring the tricks of survival. I could not control the burst of tears. I thought of all the good times with dad. I thought of all the time I wanted to spend with him, all the things I wanted to say, ‘when I got the time’. But the time, never comes, does it?
We push away our grief to deal with later, and enter the push on and work or push on and party mode. But later never happens, and all our sorrow and longing grows like rust inside.
I don’t want to lose time with you. I want to tell you over and over that I love you. I miss you each step of my journey, and while I am discovering myself with each passing mile, I can’t wait to get back and rediscover you again.
Entitled gaze
The bus comes to a screeching halt,
Restless,
I look at my watch,
And then outside.
My eyes meet his gaze.
I don’t know who he is.
Or from where.
But I feel scared.
My Rational mind tells me,
You are inside a bus,
Glass is shatter-proof,
He can’t harm you.
His gaze still makes me fidget.
I feel like I’m encouraging his malice
By returning his gaze.
I should not be party to this.
I really want to rebel,
But fear takes over,
Add I look elsewhere,
At my startled reflection.
The bus starts moving again,
Whispering ‘entitlement’.
Link shower #1 – Celebrating women’s history month
This is part of a blog I am co-writing! Do read, share and comment!
Before the month is out, some quick links on women and society (Bonus- why female heroes are more important than ever!)
What is Sunday neurosis and why should you care?
Do take a look 🙂
If Americans are trigger-happy, then so would we be.
There is a lot of debate on gun control. Recently, there was this ironic bit of news where a poster girl against the gun control laws, was accidentally shot in the back by her son.
As much as I agree that seeing what’s happening to our weapons is important, that’s simply not all. India does not have such a strong debate on gun control. We cannot afford one most times, be it legally or financially. We still manage to do a lot of killing though, don’t we? Be it as mobs or because of our silence on what’s happening.
Everyone has the ability to be violent, and the means of doing so are but a small story. The bigger issue is what our minds allow and what our environments promote.
Violence is a very primal solution to aggression and problems. While it was useful in the jungles, there is reason we grew an entire part of the brain called a prefrontal cortex, in order to have higher order thinking, problem solving and negotiating skills.
If our children are raised with the dual weapon (pun intended) of empathy and strategic thinking, I am pretty sure, they would not resort to physical violence for every little thing.
Then there’s our environment. Right from the food we eat or the medication (especially psychiatric) we take and how it may make us hot headed, to the cues in environment that make violence ‘okay’, all matter when it comes to our ultimate social violent behaviour.
Allowing little violations give a subliminal cue, that larger crimes are also okay. Something as simple or small scale as graffiti vandalism or jumping ticket cues can matter. Malcolm Gladwell points out that in the 90s in New York, the police was able to bring down the crime rate by addressing these two small but very visible signs of disobedience. It gave a signal to the antisocial elements in the city that if such small things are being eliminated, bigger ones definitely will be.
Therefore, Gun control is important, but will not work unless we change the way violence is allowed through our upbringing and environment.
Love, from the road.
I was returning from work.. it had been a tiring day. I saw that there was a lonely postcard on my doorstep. In this day and age of technology, no one sends these. It was from him. My heartbeat suddenly increased.. it had been days since I heard from him.
With groceries balanced in one hand and my bag in another, I opened the postcard before opening my door.
I really am blessed to have met you. How many girls would put up with a partner who decides to suddenly leave on a road trip, with the vague explanation of inner exploration?
But I hope you forgive me for my abruptness. I will write to you at every important juncture in my journey. I see you in everything that inspires me – the beautiful colours of the sky as I lie in an open rice field, to the hard work that a weaving woman puts into making cloth.
I remembering insisting that you join me and you said that you can’t, your work needs you. Those children need you. But I think you sensed something before I did: that I needed to make this quest alone to bring my life into focus. You would have been a comforting presence but what I need right now is hardships that make me think.
Thank you for being who you are. The picture on the other side is that of the first breaking of ice as the summer hits the frozen rivers in the Himalayas.
Love,
Your Wandering Love.
A writing hiatus that wasn’t.
Even at my busiest, I’ve updated this blog quite frequently. Sometimes, it has given what twitter never could, a free flowing monologue which I could aim towards well meaning audience.
However, before my last entry on women’s day and the one before on new year’s eve, there have been no posts.
The reason is not the lack of time, but rather the excess of writing.
Women in Progress
A little conscious,
As we dress differently,
The effect of conditioning.
Then we remind ourselves that it is our right.
We are a work in progress.
Muttering some gossip,
Still some crayons in our hands,
Awkwardly serious,
About social issues.
Coming on,
A little too strong.
Sure, there’s a long way to go.
A test to pass.
I don’t know everything inside out. All the theories and arguments.
But in the cause I believe.
A work in progress.
The serendipity of the last book of 2015
I work in a quiet (most times anyway) part of Dadar, and at the time that I walk down to office, not many shops are open. The raddi wala does open routinely at 8 though. Just like any other day, I was walking down to office from my bus stop, and glancing at the second-hand books for sale. I spotted Edward De Bono’s name and I have always wanted to read him. The book was titles ‘Future Positive: A Guide for the Energetic Eighties’. I wondered if it would be largely out of contect in 2015 (almost 2016), but on browsing, it seemed relevant, so I bought it. It cost me 30 bucks.
The last owner of the book and/or all the moths that had attacked it did not leave it in a great shape. Fixing the pages and designing the cover made it look more friendly, but I managed to spill some water on the felt-pen drawing:
The first few pages itself informed me that this book would answer a lot of my questions. It is a book about changing social structures by changing our thinking styles. A quote from the book:
Intelligence and thinking skills are different. The power of a car is different from the way it is driven.
Therefore, the author says that we have made great advances in our mass of knowledge and crystalized aspects like intelligence, but not so much in thinking skills.
As a psychologist and a mental health professional, I do feel that our socio-political reality impacts us greatly in our emotional lives, and there is no point in just treating the symptoms as that would be half measure.
What is it that we can do to change our thinking styles, leave out archaic ways of thought that had a different social context, and develop newer systems that solve our social and political problems?
I think this book will help me answer these questions, and I found it just in time!
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