Disenfranchised Grief

I am not myself for the last few days. One of my cats has gone missing the day after I celebrated the 2-year anniversary of having bought them in. Did he slip out when my brother went to receive a guest at night? Why couldn’t my brother be more careful? Did anyone pick him up and sell him somewhere? Or is he hiding nearby and unable to come back? What if other animals attacked him? What does he eat? He only loved one kind of catfood.

Each day I would try something new after work: look all over in the building, post flyers, try and go around the area with a catnip toy, ask people. And then I get a lead that he may be in the school opposite my house: my dad sees a cat and we are allowed to search for about ten minutes before we are ousted. I have gone to the school twice after that and not allowed to enter. I understand security, but really, could you be that heartless? I am going to try and look in that school again today.

But what if he is not there? What if someone else adopted him because he was wandering? Can I manage to cover all the apartments in the area in case he is in a house? I have ordered a catnip spray to go around spraying in order to lure him, but that will take 5 days to come as it is not manufactured in India.

I have a national entrance test to give and so I need to study, but I am just not able to focus. I sleep with difficulty because I feel I failed yet another day in getting him back. And then I wake up in the morning feeling a stab of pain: he’s still not back. My other cat is lonely. I am distraught.

When will he come back?

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When will he come back?

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